


Can't Get No Sleep

by cybercandy



Category: My Chemical Romance
Genre: Gen, Insomnia, Sleep Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-04
Updated: 2012-08-04
Packaged: 2017-11-11 10:12:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/477425
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cybercandy/pseuds/cybercandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gerard just can't sleep.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Can't Get No Sleep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [turlough](https://archiveofourown.org/users/turlough/gifts).



> Written for the prompt
> 
>  
> 
> _Gerard gen: The day after a bad bout of insomnia_

It's too early to be awake, way too early. It’s 7am in the fucking morning. He only fell asleep maybe two hours ago and now his body is telling him that it’s time to wake up, that this is all he's getting tonight. Gerard can hear the slow, deep breaths and gentle snoring coming from the other bunks, mixing with the hum of the bus. It’s the morning soundtrack of life on the road. He lies on his back and stares at the ceiling of the glorified coffin that is his bed, trying to will his body back to sleep but it's not working. An hour later he gives up, pushes open the curtain and gets out of his bunk. There's a mirror on the wall and Gerard doesn't have to look into it to know what he looks like. Bright red hair, unwashed and standing out in weird angles, skin even more pale than usual and eyes that are red with dark circles forming underneath. It's not the first night he's been unable to sleep for longer than a few hours and it's starting to show.

He can deal with one or two days of insomnia, he gets it often enough and he's learned to cope. Missing out on sleep for one night actually isn't all that bad, it gives the following day a soft-focus and slightly surreal feel, sometimes making him more creative and relaxed because his brain isn't racing at hundred miles an hour. But the current bout of sleeplessness is starting to drag, it's been 5 days of light and not nearly enough sleep. The world's gone from soft and blurry to way too bright and difficult to deal with. Reality is starting to look decidedly surreal.

Gerard pads into the kitchen area and makes himself a mug of coffee. He's aware that his caffeine habit might be contributing to his problem, coffee's not exactly known for it’s sleep inducing properties, but the smell is comforting and it's not like it’s going to make things any worse right now. He folds into a corner of the sofa clutching the hot mug, watching the steam rise in the cool morning air. It'll be at least another 4 hours until the others wake up. Lucky bastards.

He tries to draw, channel the nervous energy that comes with being sleep deprived into creativity, but his mind draws blank and the pictures won't come. Reading a book doesn't work, either, his eyes sting and the letters swim in front of his eyes, his vision’s gone all blurred and foggy. He can't really concentrate, so maybe watching a movie will distract him. Gerard turns the DVD player on, which unsurprisingly comes to life showing porn, Mikey's or Frank's by the look of it. He watches it for a while, but he's too exhausted to even get a semi going. Frankie's told him that jacking off is his sure fire way of going to sleep, although by the sounds he occasionally hears from Frankie’s bunk it’s also his way of waking up, and the guy can sleep standing up in a corner next to a speaker, so maybe he's not the most competent person to take advice from. And of course Gerard's tried it, he's tried almost everything from breathing techniques to herbal tea, but you can only jerk off so much before your cock gets sore and it didn’t help him sleep one bit.

Gerard's mind wanders, he misses his wife, his daughter, misses his home. He misses being able to fucking sleep. The DVD has finished and he doesn't think he'll be able to follow a movie, so he gets his mp3 player out, puts on his sunglasses and listens to music. He might've dozed off for a while, can't be sure because time passes in weird increments in his current state, a minute feels like an hour and an hour feels like a minute. He wonders if he’ll start to hallucinate if he keeps not sleeping, he's heard that this can happen if you don't get enough sleep. Maybe he’s hallucinating right now. It sounds plausible.

Mikey is the first one to wake up, it’s past noon when he comes into the lounge sporting the most amazing bed head Gerard has ever seen. 

“Morning” he mumbles, reaching for the coffee and the cereal.

“Maybe for you...” 

It comes out sounding snappier than Gerard intended, but yeah, he’s seriously pissed off that Mikey got the rest that’s been denied to him. He only has hate for Frank who bounces into the lounge half an hour later, smiling and way to cheerful for someone who’s just woken up. By the time Ray enters the lounge, Gerard just wants to kill them all.

“Someone’s in a shitty mood today” Ray mutters when Gerard huffs and hides in the corner of the sofa.

“Fuck off...”

“I rest my case.”

They leave him alone and play games in the back lounge, only coming to the kitchen when they need drinks. Gerard just sits there, eyes closed, and maybe he’s passed out again because suddenly the bus stops and people start moving and getting ready. Gerard drags himself out of the bus and into the venue. The fresh air and moving around make him feel slightly more awake, but he’s aching to the bones, has no energy left. Soundcheck passes in a haze, blends into eating some food the venue provided, turns into playing the show. He’s fine on stage, endorphins and adrenaline kicking in, and he’s still cruising on that high for an hour or so afterwards, just like everyone else. They sit around and talk, but one by one the others start yawning and shuffle towards the sleeping area of the bus, leaving Gerard on his own again. He gets another coffee and wonders if people have ever overdosed on caffeine and if yes, what it would feel like. He’s so tired he almost can’t move, so far beyond exhausted that he’s come out on the other end. His body hurts, but his brain is still going, absolutely wired, and he wants to sleep so bad it’s almost painful. He’s slumped down on the 2 seater in the kitchen area, his head buried in his hands when someone pads into the kitchen and slips into the seat opposite.

“That bad, hugh?” 

Mikeys voice. Gerard looks up to meet Mikey’s gaze and just nods.

“How long?”

“Dunno... maybe a week on 3 hours max a night. I can’t... can’t do this anymore...” Gerard’s aware how desperate he sounds, close to tears, but damn, if he doesn’t sleep soon he’s sure he is going to go insane. 

“Want a sleeping pill?” Mikey offers.

“Um... no, you know I don’t do pills anymore, just don’t want to risk it...”

Mikey looks at him.

“You’re totally wired, you’re actually scared to even try to sleep now, aren’t you?”

Gerard nods again. The thought of spending another night wide awake in his bunk while the other’s sleep is freaking him out, just as much as the thought that he’s never ever going to be able to sleep again. That he doesn’t know how to sleep anymore. Mikey sighs, stands up and gently tugs at Gerard’s arm.

“Come on.”

Gerard gets up and follows Mikey, who bundles him into his bunk and slips in with him, front to Gerard’s back, just holding him. It feels nice, familiar, comfortable, but Gerard’s still tense, like his muscles just don’t want to let go. Mikey drapes the cover over both of them, and whispers “Relax, Gee, it’s fine... just relax.”

He’s stroking Gerard’s hair, like he’s a child that had a bad dream. Gerard can feel Mikey breathing behind him, can feel the slow rise and fall of his chest and tries to match his breath to Mikey’s. 

“That’s right, just let go... calm down...”

Gerard can feel the tension draining out of him, body relaxing, eyelids growing heavy. Mikey’s warm and he’s there and he’ll look after Gerard.

“Don’t fight it, Gee, I know you’re tired... just go to sleep... relax... I’ve got you.” 

For a while they just lie there, wrapped together, Mikey talking softly as if he’s trying to hypnotize Gerard. And it seems to be working - Gerard feels a yawn escape his mouth, bringing with it a wave of calm and tiredness that he hasn’t felt for such a long time. He yawns again, pulling Mikey’s arms closer around him, still doubting that this will work, but before he can finish the thought he’s drifting off, sleep finally taking over, and slips away into unconsciousness.


End file.
